THCreate

As I’ve mentioned in posts prior, parenting is a very sensitive subject to me. The topic of fatherhood and all that entails is a sentimental topic I love to share with the world. Granted, I consider myself a very privatized person, I have no problem showing the activities I do with my children to the world to show that not all men are deadbeats.

Back in September

To reflect on the past is not a past I want to remember. I don’t want to remember the discussion I had in my living room with my children’s mother about her wanting to move on or the discussions days after fighting to keep my children’s mother in my life.

I had to remember and process that I cannot make anyone stay in my life. If people choose to display their presence in my life, I must understand it is because they choose to. Surely, if I suspect ill-will tactics, I will cut anyone off and keep it moving. Processing that the woman–who I dated since 2009 and resided with since 2013– didn’t want to be with me anymore hurt like hell. Those emotions are probably the bottled emotions my ex felt off and on during the existence of our relationship.

How Was I Able to Move On Completely

It wasn’t easy because I really tried to repair a relationship that I thought was broken at the fault of my actions. Actions of my past, such as not committing is what hurt the relationship most, but losing trust in someone you love really took the cake. Here are the ways I was able to take action to prevent from hurting anymore and not falling into complacency again.

Move Out

I moved out the same month I had a discussion with my ex. We had a discussion because I was able to analyze her actions and movements. Something wasn’t right. She was acting different, going out more, packing bags, similar to things I did towards the end of our relationship. I’m not claiming perfection. I’m claiming to be a man who recognized wrong from right and tried to rectify where I went wrong years prior.

Moving out allowed me time to remove myself from the barriers which caused friction and dishonesty. I moved out, saved money and commenced a plan to rent property from my parents.

Move On

I’d be lying if I said I moved on immediately so moving on started with moving out. Moving out gave me the courage to walk away from a woman who didn’t see the good in me, who didn’t see the great father I am, who didn’t see the future ambition of my work ethic, as if I didn’t work in a job for a decade. I love consistency and am dedicated to any cause that benefits me.

I moved on and didn’t necessarily seek other relationships, but did put myself back on the map. I calmed down because this decade-long off-and-on relationship was the true test to prepare me for the next relationship. I’m grateful that I experienced everything I have in my life, however, I am ready to settle down, create a new family with another woman who loves me for me and supports everything I do.

Focus On My Education

I graduated in 2018 from Jefferson Community & Technical College with an Associate in Applied Science Major in Computer Information Technology. My career search was stagnant, as I continued to work for Baptist Health until receiving my Bachelor degree.

I’ve worked hard taking virtual courses with Indiana Tech to pursue my Bachelor in Business Administration Management, with the goal of attaining a new career path that increases the annual salary. It was a tough but pertinent degree to pursue and I am filled with a wealth of knowledge that I know will pay off when the time is right.

Focus On My Son’s Virtual Learning NTI

Thanks to the 2019 Coronavirus Pandemic, my job offered a Leave of Absence so I could facilitate my son’s learning. My son has speech delay and isn’t always aware when someone is talking to him. My son did not get the chance to complete his first year in Kindergarten, no thanks to the 2019 Coronavirus Pandemic, however, he amazed me with his diligence to sit at an iMac for a few hours at a time to complete work with a teacher and classmates virtually.

How we as parents expected our children to do well or not is one thing, but my son was able to comprehend the materials being taught with my presence. As my son did his school work, this father was doing his own. Multitasking is a skill I am proud to admit I do well.

Exercise & Fitness

When I initially fell out with my ex, back in April 2019, this motivated me to work out and change my physique to be more proud of the body I rock. I’m far from fat, standing at 5′ 10″ 158lbs, but I wanted the arms and the 6-pack to match the body that should match my face. I promise I’m not conceited, just confident. I do look back at pictures over the years in disgust, with how I never wanted to work out or weight lift. Exercise in the past was just walking at work and the occasional visit to my local YMCA. With the thought of someone else catching my ex’s eye, I wanted to make sure it looked like I was doing something. So I trained.

I’ve been training since 2019 and I am proud to admit my routine has been consistent for two years. Before the Pandemic, my daughter and I would pick my son up from school and head to the local YMCA. I depended on their childcare for about 90 minutes, as I couldn’t depend on their mother, who rather live her life after work and see us at home at night. I prefer, even to this day, to have my kids’ by my side. My children are my identity and without them, I feel like my identity is lost. This feeling feels about as equivalent to losing your wallet on a road trip.

Sport Involvement

My children both started playing soccer recently for the YMCA. I am proud of their involvement and dedication. My son is an engineer and I almost thought he wouldn’t have wanted to play. My daughter is naturally athletic and beyond competitive.

Their first game, they both scored a goal. My daughter’s second game was an amazing sight, as she scored four goals! You better believe this father was beyond elated! You can view their soccer game here. Don’t forget to like and subscribe to the channel!

Content Creator

Creating videos is something I have always done. I never thought I would be a YouTube star, still am not, but I am putting myself out there and giving it the old college try. Many people don’t believe in their selves or their efforts but I am patient that the process will work out for me in the end as long as I prove to be consistent with my material.

The Road Ahead

I learned to focus my time on the needs of myself and my children. Honestly, my kids are priority immediately when I wake up and throughout the day. My daughter is epileptic, view My Daughter’s Story: Epilepsy and I make sure she takes her medicine twice daily. I make sure my kids are fed, bathed, and have time dedicated to them. The 2019 Pandemic made me realize that family is everything and that none of us are promised tomorrow. I wouldn’t change any of this for the world.

I can’t make my ex come back and quite frankly, after what I’ve been through, I don’t want her back. To take her back, should she choose she messed up, is a complete loss for her. No need to gloat, no need to boast, no need to brag, no need for anything. I keep our co-parenting transitions blunt and to the point and tell my children I love them and when I will see them again. My children love being with me and I adore being with them. Like I said, they are my identity and without them, I feel incomplete.

I’m a different breed when it comes to parenting, especially fatherhood. I’m a rare catch and I was let go back into the ocean. I hope the next woman I meet is ready to commit and serious about starting a family and putting each other first. Reading the Five Love Languages has opened up my eyes on how I can better cater to the person I will be with. Applying what is read is what is most important.

I’m hopeful. You can be too!

Thanks for reading.