THCreate

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is a tough ultimatum to make. How do you acquire trust when it was deliberately manipulated in front of your face? Maybe the answer lies with time and being honest with yourself and your goals.

Recently, I wrote a blog about my fiancé cheating on me after a six month engagement. Call it my karma for the way my prior relationship with the mother of my children was, however, it still is a hard pill to swallow after changing what many call player ways.

In my last relationship, all I wanted was a second chance when I actually tried to make it work. I was given chance(s) amid a coparenting relationship residing in the same home as the mother of my kids, but in my mind, I was unhappy and so was she. We seemed to make it work simply for the sake of the children. When it seemed too late, when she had moved on, she never asked for a chance and never budged despite my efforts at retaining a family before it crumbled apart.

So I ask. Do you believe in second chances? I wish the answer was simple, but truth is it differs per person dependent on its scenario. I want to give my most recent ex another chance, but how do you trust someone without feeling like they won’t hide a secret a second time. How do you trust someone who lied to your face and repeatedly denied any accusation you threw at them?

How long must one go before discovering another fallacious testament? How long will you trust a person a second time before the same act repeats itself? Is it as easy as discussing it with each other to ascertain the truth? Do you just welcome them back with open arms and say, “I forgive you” praying that their despicable actions don’t occur again?

I don’t have the answers nor do I have an answer for you or for me but I do believe in second chances, not because once upon a time it was me asking for a second chance, but because I have to believe that the infidelity that occurred was a mistake and it’s a simple as that.

Time heals all wounds but regaining trust is not that easy to offer up after it was abused. I hope for a positive ending in my situation. I hope this time, she realizes the pain she caused is irreversible. I hope she is genuinely sincere about wanting me and not wanting to repeat the same mistake. A mistake as such can only occur once, because there will not be another.